Drink the Lemonade!

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I had a big disappointment a week or so ago. I found a great job that I applied for an internal transfer for. I really thought I'd get it. From my perspective, it was a perfect fit--capitalizing on my experience and skills and giving me an opportunity to grow and rediscover my enthusiasm. Just imagining myself in the new role carried me through the tortuous weeks of standardized testing that we finish the school-year with, like the light at the end of a tunnel.

And I didn't get it. The light? It was an oncoming train.

And I cried. In fact, I still feel like crying, telling you about it here. I'm burnt out and ready for a change, and it burns my biscuits that what felt like the perfect opportunity was denied me.

But I have to go back and keep the job I was trying to leave, unless life surprises me with an amazing offer in the next few weeks. I have responsibilities, so I can't just go away and sulk. So, that means I have to figure out a way to swallow these lemons quickly, or face a year of bitterness next school year. That's easy with sugar, but sometimes you have to make the sugar yourself.

Now, I say that like it's easy, but it's totally not. That's why people who've had a lot of disappointment end up making this face:

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I've know more than one teacher whose face got stuck like that, just like Mom always told us it would. I don't want to be that teacher.

So, where do I find my sugar to turn these lemons into lemonade so I can swallow it and move on?

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1. Count your successes: In my classroom, I have one bulletin board that is covered in student memorabilia. Photographs, cards, art, certificates. Just little things to remind me that in 20 years in the classroom, I've been on the receiving end of a lot of love. That it's not all vitriol.

On an especially bad day, I even make a list. It can be hard to let go of the really awful thing that happened, especially if it happened at the end of the work day and you're going home with that sour taste in your mouth (lemons without sugar).

But if I sit down and think about it, I can always find something that went well. Maybe I was able to make a sad child smile with some of my silliness. Maybe a student who doesn't usually engage participated today. Maybe one of my colleagues said "thank you" for something I do all the time, reminding me that I make a difference.


2. Know what heals you:  It may sound like a scene from Sound of Music, but think about your favorite things. Even better, do them. Distraction can be healing. You'll eventually have to face the consequences of whatever happened, but, for a little while, it's okay not to think about it. Channel your inner Scarlet O'Hara and think about that tomorrow.

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So, tomorrow you'll figure this out. But today, you can run away a little. 

Shoot some things in a videogame, take an extra long walk with your dog, eat something unhealthy and delicious, read a great book, watch a favorite comedy, call your sister and listen to her talk for an hour, build a pillow fort and hide in there, go to a club and shake your money-maker. Whatever works for you. 

The key to this is only letting yourself run away for a short time. We're not looking for new recruits for the Lost Boys here. Eventually, you have to come back home.

3. Pick a new goal: There are other things you want. Pick one of those and take a step towards it. Send out another application. Call that someone you've been trying to get brave enough to call. Pick something to redecorate or reorganize. Audition for a play. Create something if you're a maker kind of person. Learn something new. Haven't you always wanted to know how to play an ocarina?

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For me, I'm working on hard on that writing career this summer--I've got a novel to finish and two novellas to write by the end of August. I won't have time to sit around thinking about what might have been in the real world. I'll be too busy working on my new goal by running away to play with my imaginary friends. So there!

King Kong and Ann Darrow

Given that I'm a gal who enjoys big monster movies, you'd think King Kong would be right up my alley. It's got a giant ape and dinosaurs at the same time, and who doesn't like to see an ape swatting airplanes out of the sky?

But King Kong has always pissed me off. Even when I was a little girl, I hated the story, though I couldn't have explained why. It wasn't just that they killed the ape, though I was and continue to be a softy when it comes to animals. I think it was what the story does with its leading lady. At a subconscious level, I was offended, even when my age was still being counted in single digits.

The story's pretty old (first released as a movie with Fay Wray in 1933), so I don't think I'm spoiling it for you to say that the basic plot outline involves a film director, a young woman, and a giant ape. The ape ends up dying in a fall from a skyscraper after being abducted from his home and displayed in New York City, and with the very last line of the movie, the blame for the entire tragedy is handed to the young woman: "Oh no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was Beauty killed the Beast."

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Even six-year-old Samantha was going, "What? Um, did you watch the same movie I did? Because I'm thinking Ann didn't actually do a darn thing. How is this her fault?"

In most versions of King Kong, Ann Darrow is tricked into going to Skull Island. The unscrupulous director who hires her as an actor doesn't fully fill her in on what she's letting herself in for, but instead takes advantage of her youth, naiveté, and her poverty, and smooth-talks her into serving his own purposes. It's interesting that the love interest isn't the manipulative director, but the lead actor, who was also bamboozled into going on this ill-fated voyage. I guess even Hollywood knew they couldn't sell that character as having fallen in love, so they brought in another guy.

The movie was made in 1933, but the 30's also brought us Nora Charles in the Thin Man series, so the year isn't fully an excuse.

I don't know why a giant ape would want young women. You'd think he'd rather have food, or at least another giant ape. But the tribe of people on this island have a tradition of sacrificing a young woman to Kong periodically, and our hapless Ann Darrow is kidnapped, tied to posts, and serves as this year's offering. Given that Kong is never portrayed as able to communicate, I don't know how we're supposed to have arrived at this arrangement, but women as bargaining chips in the games of men is hardly a new thing. Offering your daughters as war prizes or peace offerings goes way back.

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Their first encounter is hardly the stuff of romance. Ann screams her head off and tries to get away while the stop-motion Kong makes terrifying faces at her and roars a lot.

Ann's next few scenes are pretty much about her being menaced by one monster and saved by the one who snatched her. I get why the T-Rex and the pterodactyl want her, after all, she's a sizable meal with no armor or spikes to have to chew through. The mythology tells us that Kong is supposed to be smitten and that's why he keep fighting to save her, but it views more like simple possession to me. "Hey that's mine!" There's a part where he removes parts of her dress and examines the cloth, like "what the heck is this stuff?" There's no reason really, other than to make sure we get a nice full view of Ann's trim figure.

In the 1933 Kong, there's no emotional connection between Ann and Kong like there is in later versions. She only looks on him with terror, even when he's saving her from even scarier monsters. No Stockholm Syndrome here. In other tellings, there are these moments when Ann reaches out and touches him gently or tries to make him laugh, because even though her life is in danger, she feels for her captor.

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But that ending line really gets me.

This idea that it is somehow a woman's job to tame a man rankles me, even when the man is portrayed as an actual beast--and that's part of what that ending line implies. That toxic idea is part of the whole maelstrom of destructive ideas that create rape culture and necessitate feminism. Men are people, women are people. Why should it be my job to "be a good influence" on half the people of the world just because I was born female? Why shouldn't they be responsible for themselves? If men thought about that "boys will be boys" attitude a little longer, they might be insulted, too. Do we, as a culture, really think our men are little better than animals, unable to control their baser urges?

So, poor Ann Darrow: got duped into taking a journey to a dangerous place because some manipulative jerk took advantage of her poverty and desperation, only to end up kidnapped by a giant ape who kills people and other monsters to try and keep her, and then to be blamed for the creature's death because she's beautiful. Gah! What shot did she ever have?

The movie ends without giving much of a hint of what becomes of Ann after Kong is dead. I'd like to think that she learned to take some agency in her own life instead of blowing wherever the wind takes her. More likely, she married her leading man and cried when he left her. Or worse yet, she was sent to an asylum for her nervous condition and fell apart when they take her on a field trip to a zoo and she saw a gorilla.

Whose Story is It Anyway? Guest Post from LJ Cohen

It's my pleasure to turn over my blog today to LJ Cohen, the author of the Halcyone Space series. I've read and loved the first two, and am anxious to get my eyes on the third.  Check out my Goodreads reviews of Derelict and Ithaka Rising and follow us both while you're there :-)

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Whose story is it anyway? Balancing the demands of an ensemble cast.

by LJ Cohen

The novels of Halcyone Space (Derelict, Ithaka Rising, and Dreadnought and Shuttle) tell a story through a large cast of characters. While I have written a lot of novels over the past twelve years, most of them have used a limited set of point of view characters. But when it came to telling a space opera tale, I knew it would need more voices.

Point of View (POV), like other elements of writing, should be a deliberate choice. A large, rambling narrative can be a better fit for a multitude of voices than trying to tell it through one set of eyes. In contrast, a tightly coiled story in a limited setting might function best with one narrator. That is the choice I made in my standalone urban fantasy, Future Tense.  

Future Tense has a lot in common with a thriller in that Matt, the main character, needs to solve the riddle of his own prescient visions before the people he has grown to care about get hurt. I wanted readers to feel Matt’s sense of being hemmed in by circumstance and the narrowing of his choices as the story unspools. Using only his POV helped to accomplish that, as the reader only knows what Matt knows. This heightened the tension throughout the entire novel.

For the Halcyone Space books, that would have been the wrong choice. These are stories that span multiple planets and involve government-wide conspiracies. With multiple plot threads that weave together into each narrative, the stories needed an ensemble cast and a large number of POV characters.

But how to balance the ‘screen time’ that each character gets? Is that even important?

When it came time to give artist’s notes for the covers, I realized that depicting half a dozen principal characters would not only be impossible, but also would be the wrong choice. While, for the most part, all the characters have roles in each book, it’s also clear that each book highlights the arc of one or two main characters. In Derelict, that was Rosalen Maldonado, or Ro to her friends. In Ithaka Rising, the story of the Durbin brothers—Barre and Jem—drove the narrative. And while Jem was the character who starts the plot ticking, it’s Barre who shows the most growth and change. For book 3, Dreadnought and Shuttle, despite being a new addition to the series, Dev—Devorah Martingale Morningstar (and she knows it’s a ridiculous name) takes center stage.

I’d like to say I consciously planned out that shifting and balancing of lead characters, but I’d be lying. Perhaps my subconscious helped, knowing there wouldn’t be a feasible way to give each of six main characters and at least that many secondary characters equal billing and still have a coherent story. 

The other advantage of telling a story through multiple POV is the richness it can bring to describing characters both through their own voices and through another character’s perspective. That’s another way to bring balance to each character. I have always enjoyed the way the play Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead brings a different understanding to the familiar plot and characters of Hamlet. Seeing the two plays in repertory is a fascinating study of the concept that everyone is the hero of their own story.

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Learn more about LJ Cohen and her work by connecting with her online. And don't forget to check  out her books: links at bottom!


Homepage: http://www.ljcohen.net/
Blog: http://ljcbluemuse.blogspot.com/
Newsletter: http://www.ljcohen.net/mailinglist/mail.cgi/list/bluemusings
Google+: https://www.google.com/+LisaCohen
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5305326.L_J_Cohen
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ljcohen
Twitter: @lisajanicecohen
email LJ: lisa@ljcohen.net
Amazon Author page: http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B006QL6GA0

Dreadnought And Shuttle
Amazon page: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01G5M1Z1Y
Google Books: https://books.google.com/books/about?id=0606DAAAQBAJ

#IWSG: Slumping Towards Publication Day

I've had a rough few months in terms of creating new writing. There are a lot of reasons, all legit, but they didn't matter at the heart of it. All I felt was disappointed and frustrated. Drafting is normally my favorite part--where I get to play in the new ideas and see where they take me.

At a deeply honest level, where you admit what you really believe even when you know you're believing something irrational, I was worried that the fact I was struggling meant I wasn't good enough to do this. If I was "a real writer" I'd be able to juggle marketing, family life, and the day job, while still making progress on the next story.

But after NaNoWriMo, where I made a good start, I was stuck until about two weeks ago. I kept fiddling with the project (the third book in this series), but I couldn't figure out what was wrong and how to move it forward. Even my critique group, which normally has laser-sharp insight that finds the problem for me, wasn't that helpful. They told me what they liked and what wasn't working, but I was still stuck on what to do about the parts that weren't working. I was in a slump.

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I can be a very patient woman, but not with myself. Even with all the evidence to the contrary, in my irrational heart, I believe in the power of hard work and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. So, when I was working hard and not getting anywhere, I felt broken. My confidence (normally higher than is probably actually warranted) was shaken.

Then, it came about two weeks ago in a flash of insight. In the end, it *was* one of my critique partners who helped, but it was in a comment she gave me in writing, rather than what she said at the meeting (Thanks you, Sarah!).  Without spoilers: my villain had just made a surprising move, and Sarah said that she didn't buy it, that not enough had happened to Cindy yet to justify the action she was taking. 

And I heard the angels sing and the trumpets play! That's what I was missing: I needed to back up and give Cindy's thread from beginning to end, instead of jumping her in so far along the line. I needed to let her struggle more and have more reason to become afraid so that there was more impact when we get to her surprising move. It's one of those realizations that seems so obvious now that I wonder what the heck was wrong with me that I couldn't see it earlier. 

So, my lesson in all this is to be patient with myself, that sometimes you can't un-slump yourself through hard work and stubborn perseverance. Sometimes the creative process just needs time.

What works for you when you hit a slump?

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This posting is part of the Insecure Writers Support Group blog hop. To check out other posts by writers in a variety of places in their careers, check out the participant list. This group is one of the most open and supportive groups of people I have ever been associated with. If you write, you should check them out!


If you want to check out my superhero stories, click the covers below. Change of Life, book two of my Menopausal Superheroes series just came out a month ago!

What to do if an Earthquake Strikes: Guest Post and Giveaway from Chrys Fey

It's my pleasure to turn over my blog today to Chrys Fey, author of Seismic Crimes for some practical advice, and some information about the book! Enjoy! -SB

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What to do if an Earthquake Strikes: By Chrys Fey

Earthquakes are frightening and devastating. When a disaster of any kind occurs, people panic. Sense goes out the window. Some people end up doing some rather stupid things that puts themselves or others in further danger. Others don’t know what to do.

If an earthquake ever strikes where you live, here is what you should do:

• -       Go in a doorway, stand against an inside wall such as in a hall, or go under a bed, desk, bench or table. Stay away from windows!
• 
  
• -       If you’re outside, stay clear of buildings…don’t run into them.
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• -       If you’re in a car, pull over and stay in your car.
• 
  
• -       After the quake, don’t go outside where there could be falling objects and downed powerlines.
• 
  
• -       Check for a gas leak. Open windows and shut off the main valve. Don’t light matches, candles or lighters until you know it’s safe.
• 
  
• -       Boil water, if you can, until authorities say the water is safe to drink.
• 
  
• -       In a real pinch, there is a large quantity of water in a toilet tank….
• 
  
• -       Listen to the radio for emergency information.
• 
  
• -       Don’t use electricity or other utilities as there could be cracks in water mains or electrical currents.
• 
  
• -       If there’s a water leak, turn off the main valve.
• 
  
• -       If electricity is shorting out, switch off the meter box.
• 
  
• -       Don’t use your phone. Only use it to report an emergency.
• 
  
• -       Don’t leave safety to sightsee. Wait until there’s no threat of aftershocks and authorities say it’s safe to be on the streets.
• 
  
• -       Lock your doors to stop looters.
• 
  
• -       And carefully clean up any glass.

QUESTION: Have you ever experience a quake?

Title: Seismic Crimes

Author: Chrys Fey

Series: Disaster Crimes Series (Book Two)

Publisher: The Wild Rose Press

Format: Digital and Print

Page Count: 282

DIGITAL LINKS:

Amazon US / Amazon UK / Amazon CA

NOOK / KOBO / All Romance eBooks

PRINT LINKS:

Amazon US / Amazon UK / Amazon CA

 The Wild Rose Press

BLURB:

An Internal Affairs Investigator was murdered and his brother, Donovan Goldwyn, was framed. Now Donovan is desperate to prove his innocence. And the one person who can do that is the woman who saved him from a deadly hurricane—Beth Kennedy. From the moment their fates intertwined, passion consumed him. He wants her in his arms. More, he wants her by his side in his darkest moments.

Beth Kennedy may not know everything about Donovan, but she can’t deny what she feels for him. It’s her love for him that pushes her to do whatever she has to do to help him get justice, including putting herself in a criminal’s crosshairs.

When a tip reveals the killer's location, they travel to California, but then an earthquake of catastrophic proportions separates them. As aftershocks roll the land, Beth and Donovan have to endure dangerous conditions while trying to find their way back to one another. Will they reunite and find the killer, or will they lose everything?

HURRICANE CRIMES 99¢ SALE!

DIGITAL LINKS:

Amazon US / Amazon UK 

Amazon CA / NOOK / KOBO 

All Romance eBooks

The Wild Rose Press

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Too Busy to Read? Audiobooks Saved my Reading Life!

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When I was a kid, there were books on tape. I even had books on record, ones that gave you a tone as a signal to turn the page of the matching book. I wasn't much interested in them, overall, though I was very fond of my recording of Ferdinand the Bull. They seemed like a gimmick to me, something not necessary for reading, something created for people who needed help with their reading, maybe.

Then, I grew up and became a teacher and a mom and started to try to have a writing life and I realized that 24 hours a day were not enough hours to do all this and keep up the reading life I was accustomed to. I'm a devourer of books, given my preference. I gobble them like Halloween sweets and, as soon as I put one down, I'm ready to begin the next one.

When I don't get to read enough, I get cranky. It's like stories are part of the fuel I need to make it through my days, and being short-changed was leaving me hungry. And I was going hungry a lot.

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And then, I discovered that audiobooks had grown up. In this age of smartphones and online access to anything you want, I can get high quality recordings of so many books! From indie productions like Blake Northcutt's Arena Mode, which my husband kickstarted and gifted to me, to full-scale productions like the Signature Performance of Heart of Darkness as read by Kenneth Brannagh. I borrow CDs  or digital downloads from the library. I buy books through Audible (I love those months when you can get multiple books for 1 credit!). I take the "add audible narration" option on kindle editions.

And my life is full of stories again. I can listen while I drive. I can listen while I cook and do dishes and do laundry. Unlike other kinds of multi-tasking which really mean that I just have divided focus on don't do either thing well, this kind means that menial, repetitive and uninteresting tasks that are necessary to life can also be story time!

I know audiobooks aren't for everyone. Some people tell me that their attention wanders and they lose the thread. Some books And the quality of the narration does make a difference and can color your perception of a story, for the better or the worse (like Mark Hamill's reading of The Spiderwick Chronicles: amazeballs!). But for me, it's been heaven on earth, giving me back extended time in the imaginary worlds of authors. I so love being a 21st century girl!

Milestones: #45

April and May are milestone months in the Bryant family. Three of us have birthdays (me, the youngest child, and the pup). Both our dating and wedding anniversary fall in this span, not to mention Mother's Day. And, starting last year, April became book launch month. I've launched one two Aprils in a row, choosing that date as a birthday gift to myself, and I'm hoping to keep it going as long as I can.

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Different people set goals at different times of the year. For some, it's New Year's, whenever your tradition celebrates that. For others, it's the starts of school years. For me, it's birthdays. That flip forward on my personal timeline is always a time for reflection and goal setting for me.

So here are my thoughts on #45.

Writing Life: When I was turning 42, I decided to finally commit to taking writing seriously and giving it a real chance. I'm a hard worker and when I commit to something, I see it through. It's been a great run at that life goal.

When I was 43, I signed my first book contract, and when I was 44, I saw my first book in print. Now, at 45, I have two books of my own, and have my work included in three anthologies, which allowed me to take this picture at my book launch party. See that grin? That's pride and joy and gratitude for the chance to follow this dream.

Looking forward, I still have plenty of dreams to pursue here. I'd like to fund a great vacation for my family from the money earned from my words. I want to finish all the books I've started, then start some totally new ones. I want to win awards and try not to brag about them too much. I want to be famous enough to be invited as the featured guest author at a con, but not so famous as to be recognized on the street by strangers. Pie in the sky would be complaining to my writer friends about how the television adaptation changed my stories and characters, but what can you do? 

Family: When I was 34, I thought my life had fallen apart and I'd never be able to put it together again. My first marriage ended. I was in financial straits that demanded that my daughter and I move back in with my parents. Then, on top of it all, I got sick and was practically invalided for an entire quarter of school, and was treated badly by my school district and my insurance company in the classic "kick a girl while she's down move." 

But, when I was still 34, I re-met Sweetman, a man who had been my friend for many years. Timing

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is everything, and for once the girl who is always early and the man who was always late had the right timing. Here I am twelve years later celebrating the first decade of my marriage to Sweetman and I still know how lucky I am. As I write this, I'm finishing a lovely quiet mother's day full of pictures and sunshine, and looking forward to a week in which I'll see my eldest daughter sing at a concert and finish another book with my youngest, and a weekend with an anniversary date to see Civil War! Lucky girl, indeed.

My family and writing career goals are all wrapped up in each other. I want flexibility and time to be able to be there for my girls, my husband, and my dog in the ways they need me. 

Teaching Career: This is my twentieth year of teaching. I've taught in small places and large places,

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kids from grade six through college and adults. On a day to day basis in the classroom, I still love this. Children inspire you to be the best you that you can be. There's something about being there when they understand something for the first time, whether that "something" is irregular verb conjugation or how to organize their folder or why that one kid behaves so strangely. It's like watching the world be born again, six periods a day.

That said, it's also exhausting and repetitive and it can be hard to hold on to your positive outlook when it feels like the state of North Carolina and the United States government is out to crucify you daily to hide their own failings. Being scapegoated can make you bitter and strange. It's hard not to feel frustrated knowing that, had you chosen any other career path, you'd be making double the money or more after twenty years and that your prestige factor would have grown rather than faded.

My goals here are to find a way to keep working with young people, but in a new way that inspires me to new height and offers a little flexibility that will help me with my family and writing goals. I've got my hat in a new ring on that one, so wish me luck!

So, the TL; DR version:

In my 45th year, my goals include: finding inspiration and flexibility in my paid work, making more money off my writing so it can become my paid work, and writing yet more!