A to Z: Going Indie: X is for Xanthic

Welcome to Blogging A to Z! My theme this year is Going Indie. I hope you enjoy it. Don't forget to check out the other participating blogs. 

Xanthic? I know…but X is hard! If this word was new to you (like it was to me), Merriam Webster tells us that it means: 

So, I'm thinking "yellow" like "you yellow bellied coward!" but I actually have no idea if this word works for the more metaphorical meaning of yellow. But, I'm going with it. 

So, what am I afraid of when it comes to going indie? 

I have two main fears: financial ruin, and that it'll take the fun out of it. 

In terms of financial ruin, I've taken a few steps to protect myself: 

• I waited until the "right" moment in my life, when I had some dollars to spare without sinking the Bryant Family ship
• I didn't invest in all of it all at once, but did a little at a time, spreading it out across months and even years.
• I incorporated as an LLC, because who knows what unknown water lie ahead, and I'd like my family's assets to be safe if I really screw something up and end up in legal or tax trouble of some sort.
• I took some business training and tax advice 

In terms of "taking the fun out of it," I'm still finding out, I think. It has added new types of work to my life (see my post on D is for Decisions for more on that), so I have to be careful to keep some sort of balance and not burn myself out. 

But, I'm not especially afraid of hard work. In fact, it's a joy to focus my efforts on something that is so personally important to me instead of just day job drudgery or dirty dishes!

There's a lot of it I REALLY enjoy, too! I'm giddy sometimes with all the little delights that have been a part of this process: new things I've learned, new connections I've made, that feeling of "I made this!", positive reception of my work, etc. 

So maybe I'm not really all that metaphorically xanthic after all (if that's even a thing). 

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By the way, today's the day! Release day! Book birthday on my actual birthday! (I'm 55 today!)

So, if you've been interested at all by Not Too Late as I've nattered on about it in these posts, do a girl a solid and go buy a copy today! It's available through Ingram, so you can order it at your favorite bookstore, request it at your library, or buy it online at a lot of different venues. 

 

 

 

A to Z: Going Indie: U is for Unfinished

  
Welcome to Blogging A to Z! My theme this year is Going Indie. I hope you enjoy it. Don't forget to check out the other participating blogs. 

Last time, I talked about time management and my struggles on that front with taking on Indie publishing alongside everything else I do. One thing I'm having to come to peace with is letting things stay unfinished longer than is my liking. 

My work-in-progress is a Gothic romance called The Architect and the Heir. My goal is to finish writing the book by summer, so I can get it to an editor and perhaps bring it out this fall/winter. And I've made progress…it's just slower than I'd like. 

Draft cover for the Gothic

 

That's kind of ironic since one of the appeals of going indie for me was being in charge of my own timelines, being able to get more work out there faster. But then I remind myself that I'm already bringing out three books in 2026. That's a lot! I'm a greedy girl, though. I want it all!

But for now, this novel remains unfinished while I work on bringing my other three novels out into the world and into the hands of readers. Unfinished isn't a permanent state. 

 

  

The Role of Feedback in a Writing Life, an Open Book Blog Hop post

  

Welcome to Open Book Blog Hop. You can find us every Monday talking about the writing life. I hope you'll check out all the posts: you'll find the links at the bottom of this post.

At which stage of the writing process do you seek feedback and from whom?
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Feedback is a tricky beast. Good feedback can be invaluable. It can help you figure out problems with your work, let you know what is and isn't working and how much of what was in your brain is actually there on the page. 

But feedback can also be useless or actively harmful. I've definitely been in critique situations with toxic people or people who were so conflict adverse that "feedback" was just blowing sunshine. Mutual admiration is lovely when it's sincere, but kind of useless for improving your craft. 

So that's why that second bit ("from whom") matters. 

My own process varies. Sometimes I tunnel away and work on something for a long time before I let anyone know what I'm doing. Sometimes I want to hash out ideas with a sounding board friend before I put fingers to keyboard at all. Sometimes I feel stuck partway through and I want someone to read what I've got and help me figure out why it's not working. 

But no matter where I am in the process and what kind of feedback I want, I have a trusted set of folks I turn to for that. Here they are: 

There's my Sweetman. 

1. My husband. He's great for the "sounding board" bit of things--helping me flesh out a vague idea or troubleshoot the problems with an idea I'm already working on. He's supportive and never tries to take over or fall into "you should" sorts of directions. But I know he really wants me to succeed, and more importantly, to be happy with my creations. 

(sometimes my kids, my mom, and my sister help me with this part, too, but it's mostly him)

Most of "Works in Progress" on a retreat

2. My long-standing critique group. I've been working with a group of fellow writers for about 16 years now. The exact membership of the group has shifted over time, as people moved, retired, or just left the group and new members have come in, but Works in Progress has nourished my work for all these years.

They helped me establish regular writing habits and start finishing things. They've helped me figure out why something wasn't working. They've helped me polish up my work and make it shine brighter. What I love about them is that they come to critique with a heart to help. We all want to see one another succeed. 

3.  I call my other writing group the Dulce Writing Group because that's the name of the café where we meet when we meet in person. I've only been working with Michael, Emily, and Sarah a few months, but it's already made a tremendous difference in my writing life. I fully credit the three of them with helping me figure out how to end my Menopausal Superhero series, a task that had been kicking my butt these past three years. (Coming your way in 2025!)

We came together because we share a publisher and we're all at a similar stage of career and development of our craft. Since all of us are striving to build a career, we have a lot to offer one another in terms of inside information on publishers and area events as well as the writing itself. 

4. Professional editing. Most of my writing is published through small presses, so generally an editor is assigned to me. Over the years, and different publishers, I've received a range of editing feedback, but I've learned something to improve my work each and every time. 

Of course, this comes late in the process, after you've already made your book the best you can on your own. Fresh eyes on the finished work are invaluable for finding any gaps or confusing sections of your work. And if those eyes belong to a seasoned professional who understands genre expectations as well as grammar and conventions, well, sign me up!

5. Reviews. Lastly, I look to the reviews that readers post about my books. (BTW: If you've read my work, please leave a review!) This is tricky because no one's book is for everyone and the hate can be strongly worded and hard to take sometimes. 

One could argue that feedback is too late at this point--the cow's already out of the barn! But, there is value in reading for trends and seeing what you can learn that will make your next book better. So, I do read my reviews, but I choose my timing carefully and run all that feedback through a hard core mental sifter to separate the useful tidbits from the rest. 

However you're seeking feedback, I recommend talking first--setting mutual expectations to what "feedback" will entail in this case. Learning can be uncomfortable, but if it's painful, you might need a different teacher. You'll need a mixture of humility and chutzpah to make it as a writer and finding the right feedback can keep you balanced. 

Check out the rest of the hop to see what my colleagues have to say about the role of feedback in their work. 

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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Author website pet peeves

     

Welcome to the first Wednesday of the month. You know what that means! It's time to let our insecurities hang out. Yep, it's the Insecure Writer's Support Group blog hop. If you're a writer at any stage of career, I highly recommend this blog hop as a way to connect with other writers for support, sympathy, ideas, and networking. If you're a reader, it's a great way to peek behind the curtain of a writing life.

Our Twitter handle is @TheIWSG and hashtag is #IWSG. The awesome co-hosts for the February 7 posting of the IWSG are Janet Alcorn, SE White, Victoria Marie Lees, and Cathrina Constantine!

February 7 question: What turns you off when visiting an author's website/blog? Lack of information? A drone of negativity? Little mention of the author's books? Constant mention of books? 

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I'm pretty forgiving when it comes to author websites and blogs. People in glass houses and all that.

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This site, for example, started out as a mommy blog back in the day (like, 2009), and has slowly morphed into a blog + pages for my author life as I started to build something you might call an actual author life.

It's a bit of a Frankenstein's monster now, made out of pieces of other things, put together by someone who's not particularly skilled at that. 

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I'm well aware of the flaws in my own site. 

I have great plans for migrating to another platform because Blogger has been falling apart for years, but there's a lot of decisions to make and tons of actual work to that, so it keeps getting bumped down the to-do list. That constant balance of time-energy-money. Migration takes a lot of resources…even just figuring out what to pack and take with you versus what to let go. 

So, I definitely bear all that in mind when I am tempted to pass judgment on what someone else has managed to do in this crazy endeavor we call building a writing life. 

So, with all that as caveat, here are my three main pet peeves on author websites:

1. Pop-ups: Modals demanding that I subscribe to a newsletter or click over to the latest publication. Especially if those cover the thing I came there to read and are difficult to get back out of. If I like what I see, I'll seek out your newsletter--put the link at the side or in an obvious menu, but don't pop it up on me just because I scroll down or try to navigate away--that feels scammy and pushy and guarantees I will not subscribe. 
2. No contact information: that's a basic on any website. People might want to reach out to you! Maybe invite you to be a part of an event. I've had it happen. I understand the desire for privacy, but it can cost you opportunities to be difficult to reach out to. You can use a form if you don't want to post an email address. 
3. Flashing or moving displays that can't be turned off: I don't see this so much anymore, but for a little while, it was quite the fashion to have a video play, or a carousel display on a website and I hate it. An interactive element for a purpose has its place, but on an author's website? Nope. I came here for the words, read with my eyeballs, at the pace I choose. 

So there ya go, Samantha's two cents on author websites. How about you? What puts you off or pulls you in? What do you do for your own site, if you maintain one? I'd love to hear about in the comments! 

If Only I had Known: An Open Book blog hop post

Welcome to Open Book Blog Hop. You can find us every Monday talking about the writing life. I hope you'll check out all the posts: you'll find the links at the bottom of this post.

What is one thing that you wish you’d known about writing before you started?

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It's been quite a journey. Writing has been a part of my life since before I could write. I was always telling stories: out loud to my mother, in drawings, to my toys, in my own head. Once I learned to write, it was my solace, my best form of expression, my way of understanding the world. 

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None of that has changed, but along the way, writing also became a vocation. I wanted readers, an audience, and maybe some recognition and money for my work. 

So, since I can't remember any "before you started," I'll try to tackle this as "before you started trying to do this professionally." 

As I look back on it, I wish I'd understood sooner that I'd have to MAKE time for writing. I let a lot of years slip by in which I wrote very little, or started things I never finished. It's easy, when you're young, to feel like you've got all the time in the world. Like the song says, "I was young and foolish then, I feel old and foolish now." 

For many years, my creative energy went into my teaching, into mothering, into baking--all things that served others. I don't regret that--much good came out of all that work--but I could have had a little balance, maybe. 

It took me a long time to develop a little healthy selfishness and insist on some space in my life for something just my own--my life of words. 

I'm not one to waste too much emotional energy on "what might have been," but I do lament that I didn't focus and finish things a little sooner in my life. 

How about you? In writing or in life in general, what do you wish you'd known? 

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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'Tis a gift! An Open Book blog post

Welcome to Open Book Blog Hop. You can find us every Monday talking about the writing life. I hope you'll check out all the posts: you'll find the links at the bottom of this post.

Dec 19, 2022 What gift did you want that you never got and might be bitter about? Have you bought it for yourself?

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Somewhere in the fog of childhood memory, I'm sure I was a petulant little brat over something I wanted and didn't get, but from the vantage point of my fifty-first year on planet earth, I know I've been quite spoiled across my life. I don't harbor any of this kind of bitterness apparently, because I can't remember anything like that. 

Even when we didn't have much money, my parents knew how to make gifts seem special, setting the stage and presenting them in a way that made them special. I suppose it's all in what you compare it to.

These days, I'm told I'm difficult to buy for. 

I can see that. 

Small things I need I buy for myself when they come up. Other things, I save up for, but wouldn't generally ask for as gifts because they're too expensive. Like many adults, I often receive quite practical gifts--things I actually need. 

I like giving gifts more than receiving them, though even giving them can become stressful, especially in a household like ours that celebrates both Chanukah and Christmas at this time of year. I have mixed feelings about gift-giving holidays and the sense of obligation that can take them over. 

My husband usually buys me tickets--to a play or concert, or for a trip or something like that. He knows I would enjoy an experience more than a trinket. My mother still buys me clothes, and somehow always knows what size and style are right for me, even though we live three states away and only see each other a few times a year. 

The children often make things, and those are special gifts indeed. 

So, I'll leave you with a sonnet I wrote a few years back. I'm afraid I'm not all that good at sonnets, but the sentiments are genuine. 

Check out the rest of the blog hop at the link: 

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

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My Year in Words: My 7th year pursuing writing for real

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2022 is coming to a close. That seems like science fiction in and of itself. How can it be 2022, let alone almost 2023? But I've survived a lot of bad predictions now.

• I made it through 1984, and if Big Brother was watching, he didn't speak up. 
• I made it through 1999, and the party wasn't over after all. 
• Y2K didn't eat my hard drive
• I made it through 2001 and AI did not kill off the humans. Sorry, Dave.
• Ancient calendars didn't end the world in 2012
• I made it through 2015 without getting hit by Michael J. Fox on a hoverboard. 
• I made it through 2019 without finding out if replicants dream of electric sheep. 
• Godzilla didn't return in 2020. Neither did the Terminator. (though both might have been preferable to what 2020 DID bring us)
• And here we are in 2022, and I'm not yet eating Soylent Green.

So maybe 2023 won't be as bad as science fiction led me to believe either.

Writing

My goals were a little mushy this year. After getting through 2020 and 2021, life didn't feel that predictable, so setting goals was harder. I didn't have my usual faith and optimism about what all I'd be able to get done. 

the Menopausal Superheroes novels so far

I've been working on the fifth and final Menopausal Superhero novel off and on for two years now. I was hoping I'd finish a draft this year. 

I didn't. 

But, I'm finishing the year strong, having written on it every day during NaNoWriMo and kept up that momentum in December, so I'm hoping to have a finished draft by March of 2023. 

Partly this was pandemic life. Partly this was me trying to close out a series for the first time, which is a very different task than just writing the next novel in the series, especially for a pantser like me. 

I tracked my word count across six projects: Menopausal Superheroes #5, Short Stories, Book Reviews, Social Posts, Business (by which I mean correspondence, blurbs, bios, etc.), and Blogs. I use Jamie Raintree's Writing and Revision Tracker, because I like how it lets me see my progress on several projects, and track both new words and revised words. Across the year, I wrote 287,642 words and revised 109,515. Not too shabby!

There are still two weeks left, so I'll add a little more to that word count before the New Year bells toll. 

Publishing: 

I did see some work into print though, even if it wasn't Menopausal Superheroes. 

My short stories made it into three anthologies in 2022: 

• Beyond: Horror Flash Fiction includes my short story "What I Can See" 
• A Woman Unbecoming includes "How Does Your Garden Grow?"  
• Post Roe Alternatives: Fighting Back includes "No Country for Young Women" 

I'm proud of all three, but especially happy to have used my writing for a bit of activism, in support of reproductive rights in the second two. 

I also had a few short stories included in magazines. You can read all of these online for free (or listen to them, in the case of the two podcasts): 

• The Beginning of You. 34 Orchard. 10 November 2022. 
• Under an Orange Sky. Allegory EZine. 1 November 2022. 
• Poison. Manawaker Studio's Flash Fiction Podcast. 8 September 2022. 
• Moondance. Night's End Podcast 13 June 2022. (my story begins about 7 minutes, 12 seconds in)
• The Mind Plays Tricks Dark Recesses 27 April 2022
• How Does Your Garden Grow The Fantastic Other, Issue 4 (page 13)  19 February 2022

I'd love it if you checked out any of my work! And, for the books, please consider leaving a review. A few words and some stars makes all the difference in a book's discoverability, and I'd love to see these small presses continue to thrive. 

Submitting

Another of my goals was to submit my work more often. I'm terrible about writing a short story, submitting it once, then letting it languish on my hard drive if it doesn't get accepted. (Hint: if you want your work to get published, you have to submit it). 

At this point, it's not even about fear of rejection for me anymore, but more about managing my limited time so that I can write new things, promote my published work, AND submit my work. 

I set a goal of submitting work 100 times this year and, as I write this, I've done so 99 times. So, you can bet I'll find time to submit one more piece of work before the calendar flips. I was helped by participating in challenges developed by a writing colleague Ray Daley. A few times a year, he collects a list of magazines he intends to submit to, one a day over the course of a month, and invites other writers to try and do the same. 

It paid off, too! Several of the year's publications are stories that met with rejection before finding success. Persistence is the name of the game. 

• What I Can See: written 2019,  submitted 4 times in total, and accepted in 2020 (for publication in 2022). 
• How Does Your Garden Grow? written 2020, submitted 5 times in total, and accepted twice in 2022. (reprints are sometimes welcome in anthologies)
• No Country for Young Women written 2022, submitted 5 times in total, and accepted in 2022 (that's pretty fast for me--to write a story and see it published in the same year)
• The Beginning of You written 2015, submitted 11 times, and accepted in 2022
• Under an Orange Sky written 2014, submitted 14 times, and accepted in 2014 (project folded without coming to fruition) and 2022
• Poison written 2020, submitted 5 times, accepted in 2020 (in a magazine), and in 2022 (as a reprint for a podcast)
• Moondance written 2019, submitted 8 times, accepted in 2022
• The Mind Plays Tricks written 2015, submitted 17 times, accepted in 2022

Promotion

Getting comfortable with promotion has been quite a journey these past seven years. 

I was a guest at ConCarolinas and Multiverse this year, and sold my books at GalaxyCon, Queen City Book Fair, Bookmarks Book Festival and PopCon. 

I also presented a workshop at Orange County Public Library and continue to run the First Monday Classics book club with writer-colleague James Maxey every month.

I've started to stretch my geographic reach in hopes of finding new audiences, and seeking out more one day festivals and events. I'm still trying to find that balance between promotion and protection of my writing time that leads to a wider audience and more sales. Now that I'm no longer a teacher, I'm a little less tied to the academic calendar and look forward to the new opportunities that will open up for me. 

I've also been taking advantage of the wider array of digital opportunities. I record panels with ConTinual Convention on the regular, as well as with Strong Women Strange Worlds, Go Indie Now, Write Hive, and other organizations. 

I try to gather all those together into a playlist on YouTube: 

I didn't put up much new material on my own YouTube channel this year, so I'm hoping to get back to this more regularly next year. 

I've also been exploring new social media options this year, building a presence and a following on CounterSocial, Mastodon, and Hive (@samanthabwriter) in case Twitter finishes imploding, while still keeping up Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, which have been my main channels for a few years now. 

See why time management is such a thing?

How did your year go for your creative or business pursuits? Any insights to share with girls like me who want it all? 

IWSG--Holiday Catch Up

Welcome to the first Wednesday of the month. You know what that means! It's time to let our insecurities hang out. Yep, it's the Insecure Writer's Support Group blog hop. If you're a writer at any stage of career, I highly recommend this blog hop as a way to connect with other writers for support, sympathy, ideas, and networking. If you're a reader, it's a great way to peek behind the curtain of a writing life.

Our Twitter handle is @TheIWSG and hashtag is #IWSG. This month's co-hosts are: Joylene Nowell Butler, Chemist Ken, Natalie Aguirre, Nancy Gideon, and Cathrina Constantine!


December 7 question - It's holiday time! Are the holidays a time to catch up or fall behind on writer goals?
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This year Chanukah and Christmas intersect, which compacts my holiday season a bit (we celebrate both at la Casa Bryant). That's both nice and annoying. I think I like it best when Chanukah falls in early December and is complete before it's time to get ready for Christmas. It was really cool the year that Chanukah and Thanksgiving collided, but I think that only happens about every 7,000 years, so I probably won't see that again. 

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Now that my kiddos are a little more independent (at ages 15 and age 22), time off of the day job gives me more leisure time than it used to. I might be called upon to play Mom bus, or get an offer to go do something fun, but the kids can and do largely entertain themselves, giving me the chance to sneak off to my writing oasis and muck about in my world of words. 

An interesting shift here lately has been that I can't sleep past 8:00 a.m. no matter what (hurray? menopause!), but my kids don't want to do anything until after noon, which means I can get 3-4 hours without being asked for much--just dogs who want a walk and a husband who might distract me. I gotta say, it's pretty nice. 

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So for those of you struggling with younger kids and finding quiet time for writing, I'll offer that it has gotten easier with time. And for those of you who never had kids, I see what you meant about the freedom that affords! 

Assuming everyone stays healthy, I anticipate a little catch-up time this year, at least until the grandparents come to visit, then all bets are off! (But grandma and grandpa time is wonderful in its own right, so I'm not complaining). 

Here's hoping your holidays feed your creative life, too, and give you the right balance of family and "me" time. 

My reading life since July

I started a new job in May. Not just a new job, a complete change in career, moving from classroom teaching to working mostly from home as a content strategist for a big financial company. 

Of course, that set everything else in my life topsy-turvy, too--from what time I get up in the morning, to when I do my creative writing, to what I eat for lunch, when and how I exercise, and of course, how much and what I read. 

Looks like I haven't written about my reading life since June! Unusual for me--since I usually do a monthly round-up of what I've been reading. 

As of today, I'm 2 books behind on my reading challenge (I always make a goal of 52 books a year, one per week).  Not too bad considering all the changes in my life. 

Screenshot from my Goodreads Reading Challenge 2022

I'm still reading primarily on audiobook (either on Audible or Chirp), on Kindle, or on audiobook with reference to the ebook edition, depending on whether I expect to want to take notes. Paper books continue to be difficult for me because of arthritis and eyesight. Another reason to love being a 21st century girl--my limitations don't have to constrain my reading. 

For a little while there, I was reading GIANT books. Partly, this is the fault of my First Monday Classics Book Club, which chose David Copperfield for August and Anna Karenina for October. We tend to do that--if the first Monday is a holiday, we don't meet that month, so this year we didn't meet on Independence Day or Labor Day. When we've got 2 months between meetings, we pick a tome. Each of these took me fully a month to read. 

Between those two tomes, I read one short one (The Ballad of Black Tom by Victor LaValle), one medium one (The Beautiful Ones by Silvia Moreno Garcia), and yet another tome (The Weight of Ink by Rachel Kadish). 

Those three tomes were probably why my book count fell behind, but I'm really glad I read all three of them. The Weight of Ink was a work of historical fiction that pulled me into a world I had never really read about before, the immigration of Jews from Portugal to Amsterdam to London during the Inquisition, with fascinating main characters in both the past and present storylines. David Copperfield was a sweeping story of growing up poor and making something of one's self and Anna Karenina was a sweeping story of growing up rich and losing it all--proof that getting what you want isn't the same thing and finding happiness. 

The Ballad of Black Tom had been on my TBR for quite some time, having come highly recommended by several friends who also enjoy horror and dark fiction with a Lovecraftian bent. It was excellent. And I picked up The Beautiful Ones because I LOVED Mexican Gothic by the same author. It proved similarly atmospheric and lyrical, so I'll definitely be seeking out more by Silvia Garcia Moreno. 

I read more nonfiction than usual this fall. My daughter had read Rage Becomes Her by Soroya Chemaly as part of a summer course, and recommended it. Reading it led me to A Girl's Guide to Joining the Resistance by Emma Rose Gray. Both books speak to the rage that has taken over a lot of women in the past decade or so, as certain elements of our society have worked to squash the gains we have seen in civil and legal rights since my grandmother's day. If you're looking to channel the energy of your anger in helpful directions, you can find some ideas in these two books. 

Also in nonfiction, I read The War for Kindness by Jamil Zaki. It's part of work-related book club I'm participating in (I know; I have a book club problem--I just love the experience of talking about books with other people who've read the same books SO MUCH).  I also started Atomic Habits and plan to pick up How to Make Sense of Any Mess: Information Architecture for Everyone and expect to finish those before the year ends.  All three of these are part of my attempt to connect with my new colleagues and understand corporate thinking. Even if I find some of the thinking simplistic, I do find that they spark good conversations. 

I think I'm a hard sell when it comes to "self help" and related genres--my skepticism is sparked when the solutions are too easy, and I'm over fifty--so some of the ideas are old hat for me. Hardly as eye-opening as they think they are. 

Beloved by Toni Morrison was the November choice for First Monday Classics, which meant I was reading it in October. Very thematic. This was my third or fourth time reading the book and it's still harrowing. Truly one of the best ghost stories I've ever read. It was made even better this time as my audiobook was read by Morrison herself. 

I also picked Weep, Woman, Weep by Maria DeBlassie as a bit of seasonal reading for my neighborhood book club. It plays in the mythology of La Llorona, and I'd been interested in it since last fall when I participated in a reading for Strong Women, Strange Worlds with the author. 

I also was a guest at Multiverse in Atlanta, Georgia this October--with guest of honor Mary Robinette Kowal. 

I was already an admirer of Kowal's Lady Astronaut books (The Calculating Stars, The Fated Sky, and The Relentless Moon). I was thrilled to get to meet her and participate in her Q&A (she talked about how her puppetry work feeds her writing and that was fascinating!). 

She described her newest release, The Spare Man, as "the Thin Man in space" and I was sold since I adore Nick and Nora Charles. 

I bought it before I left the con and started listening to it on the way home. Kowal also narrates her own work, and does beautiful voicework, so it was a real treat. 

Right as I finished that book was when I realized that I was behind on my reading challenge and started choosing short works that were already in my Audible library. So in short order (roughly one book per day), I read: 

• Lotería by Mario Alberto Zambrano
• Remote Control by Nnedi Okorafor
• Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata
• Unexpected Stories by Octavia Butler

All of them were well worth reading and left me thinking in different ways. I probably enjoyed Remote Control the most, and will probably spend the most time pondering Convenience Store Woman. 

So, that's where my reading time has gone since summer. How about yours? Anything I should add to my endless TBR? I'd love to hear about it in the comments!

IWSG: Finding my New Normal

Welcome to the first Wednesday of the month. You know what that means! It's time to let our insecurities hang out. Yep, it's the Insecure Writer's Support Group blog hop. If you're a writer at any stage of career, I highly recommend this blog hop as a way to connect with other writers for support, sympathy, ideas, and networking. If you're a reader, it's a great way to peek behind the curtain of a writing life.

Our Twitter handle is @TheIWSG and hashtag is #IWSG. The awesome co-hosts for the July 6 posting of the IWSG are J Lenni Dorner, Janet Alcorn, PJ Colando, Jenni Enzor, and Diane Burton!

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In late May, I made a major life change that was a long time coming: I left teaching (check my leaving teaching blog post for details). I have an entirely new day job: a content writing job in corporate. Overnight, my stress dropped by half, so I'm feeling sure it was the right decision. But, it's quite a change after 27 years of teaching. 

What I haven't figured out yet is how my writing life fits into the parameters of the new job. 

I had a pretty good pattern going these past few years, writing evenings and taking advantage of the cyclical nature of teaching to give writing fuller focus during the times of year when school wasn't in session. 

But I haven't made any progress on my latest novel since the job change. 

Maybe that's just the transition phase. There's a lot to learn in the new job, after all. 

And I've had other curve balls, like taking a long-awaited trip to Ireland, seeing my daughter through college graduation, and getting the other kid going on driving lessons. Life has had my attention focused elsewhere. 

But I suspect that I'll need to re-set completely, that these life changes are going to require revamping my writing schedule and approaches, because come evening, I am screenburnt after all the zooming and it's hard to get myself to sit behind a screen again in the evening, even for fun stuff like playing with my imaginary friends. 

Will I need to become a morning writer? Someone who writes on their lunch hour? Do I need to start writing on paper and transferring to computer later? I don't know!

It's weird to be seven years along a path and feel like you've lost the trail, but I'm trying to stay positive and tell myself that it's exciting to have the chance to start fresh and try new approaches. 

Have any of you had to change how you fit your creative ventures into your life after a big change? I'd love to hear about it in the comments!

Leaving Teaching

I've been a teacher my whole life. Just ask my cousins and my poor little sister about the days when I forced them to play school with me in the basement, when I was five and they were still toddlers. I even had school desks and a chalkboard. I made worksheets for them and corrected their letters. 

Admittedly, I was a bossy little thing, and that probably had something to do with it, but it's also about sharing an enthusiasm for learning. What can I say? I LOVE school.  Learning and books are part of my soul. 

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I was probably only six or seven when I started telling people that I was going to be a teacher when I grew up. I was also going to be a witch, a dancer, a veterinarian, a reporter, a writer, and an astronaut…only some of those stuck. 

Unlike most people I know who changed their minds multiple times about what to be as they grew up, I stuck to that childhood plan of becoming a teacher. The only thing that changed was what level I thought I wanted to teach (elementary, middle, high, college). 

I went to college and earned a degree in English education with minors in Spanish, Creative Writing, and a sort of Humanities add-on they called "Honors." Other than a minor gig with my college public radio station and a brief secretarial job, all my work life was teaching or education adjacent. I tutored, served as a classroom aide, subbed, and taught in my own public school classroom, in summer programs, and on college campuses. 

The work was never easy, but it was worth it. There's such power in being there at the moment of elucidation or new comprehension or boundaries being stretched and helping people gain the tools they need to make their goals and improve their lives. I felt useful, important…like I made a difference. 

Even now, after 27 classroom years, I still believe public education is the most important idea to rise out of American democracy: the idea that ALL citizens have the right to education was and is ground-breaking and represents all that is best about my country. (we can talk another day about the forces trying to kill that from within). 

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You knew there would be a but, right? 

The realities of choosing a teaching life can be pretty grim. Nearly always, it means sacrifice in other aspects of your life. 

• You'll always earn a low salary, especially considering the education required, the importance of the work, and the stress and danger involved. 
• It's the only profession I know of where people who have never attempted the work themselves (or worse yet: FAILED at it) are in charge of the system, and the whole world thinks they know better than the trained professionals how to do the work. (Well, maybe mothering--that also came with a TON of irrelevant, hateful, and unwanted "feedback" from people who don't know a darn thing about it--we can talk another time about misogyny and the value of women's work). 
• You might as well change your middle name to scapegoat, because you'll collect ALL the blame and none of the credit.
• The stress levels are sky-high and self-care is just two words people like to say, about as useful as sending "thoughts and prayers" during a tragedy. No one means it; no one cares. 
• It's physically dangerous. More schoolkids than police officers have been killed in our country this year by gun violence, and their teachers die trying to save them. Between school violence, stress-related health damage, unsafe and poorly maintained work environments (school buildings), and contagious illnesses, teachers die from the work every day. Your life is on the line. 
• You'll be overworked every single day. Schools are underfunded, which leads to being understaffed, which leads to one person shouldering a work load more appropriate for three to five people. 
• People will call you a hero, but it's lip service they pay to avoid paying you in respect, support, or dollars (you know: things that MATTER and might make a difference). It's disingenuous at best, and often far darker than that. 
• You'll feel helpless a lot because you can see the problems and what needs to be done, but you don't have the tools, time, or resources to fix things. It'll break your heart a little bit every day…and can eventually make you shut down out of self-protection. 

It's not sustainable. The system was built on the backs of women--something we allowed at a historical moment when it was hard for a woman to get paying work of any kind at all and have been stuck with ever since. When the entire system is predicated on the exploitation of the workers, there's something wrong. 

It's even worse in states like North Carolina: "Right to Work" states they call them. Anti-union is probably a step more honest. No protection for the worker--not even the basic protection I'd enjoyed in other states like a guaranteed lunch break every day or due process if I got fired. 

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I've thought about leaving lots of times. 

• Sometimes I stayed out of passion--to try and make change from the inside.
• Sometimes I stayed because I'd been gaslighted so much that I'd internalized the idea that the problems were about me instead of about the work conditions.
• Sometimes I stayed out of exhaustion--too tired to put in the footwork to find something else. 

It was like having an abusive spouse in a lot of ways. You convince yourself that it's not as bad as it is. You stay "for the kids." Fear and manipulation reign over all. 

Well, reader, I left him: that abusive spouse I called a teaching career. 

Two weeks ago, I said goodbye to my last group of students and walked out into the sunlight. I'm corporate Samantha now, working as a content strategist for a large financial firm. I've had my new job for all of nine days as I write this, and it's already a world of difference in terms of stress and work-life balance. 

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It's telling, I think, that my primary emotion, intermixed with the sadness of leaving the children and some of my colleagues, was relief. 

IWSG: A Day Late and a Dollar Short

Welcome to the first Wednesday of the month. You know what that means! It's time to let our insecurities hang out. Yep, it's the Insecure Writer's Support Group blog hop. If you're a writer at any stage of career, I highly recommend this blog hop as a way to connect with other writers for support, sympathy, ideas, and networking. If you're a reader, it's a great way to peek behind the curtain of a writing life.

Our Twitter handle is @TheIWSG and hashtag is #IWSG. This month's co-hosts are: SE White, Cathrina Constantine, Natalie Aguire, Joylene Nowell Butler, and Jacqui Murray!

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Well, technically, that was yesterday. But when you start a new job on a Tuesday because of a Monday holiday, chances are you'll be a little mixed up about what day of the week it is. At least, that's what I'm telling myself. 

So, here I am sharing my writing insecurities a day late. 

Honestly, I'm not really writing right now. I hit a wall in my novel a couple of months ago. At around the same time, I started moving hard on changing day jobs, leaving a 27 year career in teaching for a whole new adventure as a content creator for a big financial company. 

I'm trying to trust to the process. I've been through ebbs and flows in my writing life before and the words always eventually flow again, but I still get this spikes of panic from time to time, feeling like it's over, just seven years in. 

Besides the change of career and the extra pressure of trying to write a last-in-series, I also had a helluva May, including seeing one kid through college graduation, and will have a helluva June with a long anticipated trip to Ireland upcoming. 

So, here's hoping July gets me settled into my new career and schedule and back on track with the novel. In the meantime, I'd love to hear what you've got on the docket this summer. Please tell me what you're up to in the comments!

Another Year Older

It was my birthday a couple of days ago. On a Thursday. A workday. So, not the best day for celebration, but adult life, you know? It is what it is. 

I figured my 50th year on planet earth was going to be an exciting one. It's just one of those landmark years, you know, and here I am now, a few days on the other side. Fifty-one? Whoosh! (That's the sound of time passing at what feels like supersonic speed.)

Not today's treat, but you get the idea

The day itself, was pretty good. I let myself have a Bee One Thousand (cinnamon and honey concoction) skim latte, a country ham and cheddar biscuit, and a comic book from the Hillsborough Cup-a-Joe, even though that's a treat normally reserved for Fridays. 

I'm a great believer in small treats and pleasures as a way to keep your spirits up and getting out of bed had been a hard sell. 

When I got to school, I found that my Bulldog Buddy (a sort of year long Secret Santa) had left me a birthday bag on my chair with a beautiful cupcake on top and lots of great treats inside including a bookstore gift card! (I've got some suspicions about who my Buddy is, and some guilt because I'm not nearly as good at finding awesome things for MY Bulldog Buddy). 

Another teacher friend made sure to tell all the sixth graders that it was my birthday, so all day, kids stopped by my room and stuck notes and little pieces of art to my classroom door. Kids at their most charming and endearing :-)

This kid didn't even know how much I love frogs

After school, I picked up some fast food. It's not the meal I would have picked, but there was limited time between school and my hair appointment, and I get hangry if I don't see to those needs. 

Throughout the day, I received text and social media well wishes, and lots of silly memes and songs to make me smile. 

I spent the evening getting my locks colored and shaped at Syd's, which is a really charming hair shop in Carrboro that deals well with customers like me (middle aged ladies who want funky-colored hair and low fuss but awesome haircuts) and the younger kid (awesome but picky and prickly teenager). I've been a customer there off and on during all my time in North Carolina, and I appreciate the vibe as well as the hair expertise. 

Feeling pretty

Then I got home, finally ate that pretty cupcake and opened some gifts from my sister (extra sweet of her now that she lives further away and had to ship them to me), and caught up with my husband, dogs, and the kid still at home. 

It was a nice respite in what has felt like a whirlpool (of the Scylla and Charybdis variety) these past few weeks. 

I've been in the middle of a job hunt (leaving teaching for the corporate world for a different variety of stress, some flexibility, and more money). 

My eldest kid is about to graduate college. 

We've had some new health things to deal with as well as a home improvement project that we're still resettling the house after. 

It feels like everyone around me is facing heartache. Some friends lost their son. A student lost her father. A colleague is battling cancer. The youngest kid's best friend just lost their dog. 

So, my emotions have been seriously mixed. Celebrating my own good news can feel heartless when those around me are suffering. 

But a birthday is a natural time to look back at your life. My 50th year on planet earth was, in the scheme of things, pretty damn good. 

Personal: my health is good as in that of all my nearest and dearest, my life is stable, and I have lots of love around me. 16 years into marriage, I'm still stupidly happy. 22 years into motherhood and my kids are still the best ones in the world. Nearly a year into life with our new pups and they charm me daily. 

My family in our holiday PJs

I always tell folks that I love drama in my fiction, but I want a rather boring and serene life, and right now that's what I've got and I am grateful for that. 

Writing: It was a pretty good year for my writing life. I began my 50th year by entering the editing process on the fourth Menopausal Superhero novel, Be the Change, and seeing it through to publication.

Five of my short stories made it out there into the world, too. You can read four of them online here: 

• The Mind Plays Tricks Dark Recesses 27 April 2022
• How Does Your Garden Grow The Fantastic Other 19 February 2022 (page 14)
• Boy Chick on Apex & Abyss 1 October 2021
• Poison on Enchanted Conversations 23 August 2021

The fifth one was in an anthology and came out on my 51st birthday, so that was a nice present :-)

I wrote a lot, too. From birthday to birthday, I wrote 379,046 words. I revised 179, 611 words. For 2022, I set a goal of submitting my writing 100 times and I've already hit 56 submissions at the 1/4 of the year mark. Not too shabby! Especially when you consider that I do this with a full time day job. 

All in all, quite a good year and my 51st year is already shaping up with some exciting adventures including a change of career and some travel! Keep an eye on this spot for the details. In the meantime, may this year be your best year yet and give you many reasons for joy.