Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Finding Focus

Normally, I'm a very focused person. I'm good at prioritizing a list of to-dos and getting them done. In any given weekday, I manage to write 800 or so words of my WIP, teach six classes, do the prep work for the next day's six classes, prepare three meals for four people and a dog, do a load of laundry and a load of dishes, help one child through homework, be an ear for the other child, pay things on time, and get my work and name out there on social media.

There's a lot I don't do as well, of course: exercise enough, read enough, keep up with media (TV, podcasts, movies, games, etc.), sleep sufficient hours . . .

But this is what we call the Balancing Act.

But I'm out of balance right now. Really out of balance. Like a washing machine trudging forward away from the wall as the load smashes noisily around. It's been this way for about two weeks.

What changed?

Well, it's already been a challenging school year. The eldest started high school, the youngest started taekwondo, and I'm in process on my first published book. These three things have really stretched the demands on the hours of any given day.

But, I was doing okay on those things, most days. Until we hit a bit of a crisis with one of the kids. I'm not going to talk about the details here. They're private and I am strong in my faith that we will come through and get everyone on an even keel again. But it will be a process.

And, though I'm not a brooder, I'm brooding. Seriously, I'd put Angel to shame. I'm working slower on that pile of daily tasks because part of my brain is distracted at all times by the crisis stuff.

I've missed a deadline at work (for one of those "other duties as assigned" that can drown a schoolteacher who already does an amazing amount of work in the ninety non-teaching minutes I have per schoolday).

I don't do that.

Even list-making isn't working for me like it usually does. Each item I put on the list seems to come with peripheral items until the page is not a nice organized list, but some sort of ugly bubble map of my billowing brain.

So, tonight, I plan not to think. At least not about my own things. It's time for some superheroes. Not angsty ones like Batman either. Pure escapist butt-kicking. Hulk smash!

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