Sunday, June 16, 2013

On Fatherhood

Becoming a father, in the biological sense, is a relatively simple process. A little fun, and if biology is kind, voilĂ ! It happens to men all the time who weren't ready, who hadn't thought it through, or who didn't even want it.

It's a horse of an entirely different color, tough, becoming a dad. That takes love, patience, hours and hours and hours of investment of time and energy.  If it were a paying gig, it would come with lots of overtime. Of course, it doesn't pay in dollars. In fact, it will cost you many.

But a dad gives gladly. He listens. He learns when to "fix it" and when just to listen.  He demonstrates, he remonstrates. He shows up with his A game.  He's there when he's there, and even when he's not because he's part of who you are.

Each man has to find this path for himself.  Whether you had an excellent example to model yourself after, like my husband did, or a poor model to contrast yourself to, like my father did, in the end, you choose what kind of father to be. And your choices, good or bad, shape the perceptions of the little people in your lives, even after they become grown.

It's a lot of power, gentlemen. Use it wisely.

photo by: Miryam Bryant


  1. Your husband is very lucky to have such an inspiring partner. I have a two year old of my own who inspires me to change and has allowed me a new perspective on life. Great post.

  2. It's been the single most difficult and rewarding aspect of my life. It's made me tough and vunerable, brought me heartache and joy, and its rewards have seen me through some dark times.