So, what am I insecure about this month? It's really the same thing that I'm insecure about every month: getting it all done!
I see other writers out there who have multiple releases every year, and I wonder why I can't work that fast. Some of these other writers are full-timers with no day jobs, but not all of them . . .which leads me to wonder what I'm doing wrong that I've only been able to manage one book and a couple of anthology stories a year.
On the one hand, I'm proud of myself for managing that much. After all, I have a demanding day job and a family. That doesn't leave much time for slacking, and I definitely work hard to hold onto my dream of "being a writer."
What I've noticed though is that my definition of "being a writer" keeps shifting into something I'm not quite doing yet. At first, it was being published. Then, it was having a novel published. Then it was being accepted as an author guest at a con. Then, winning an award. Now, I'm aiming at being the special guest at a convention and selling enough books each month to pay my mortgage.
I keep moving the target, which keeps me feeling like I never get there.
I guess there's a good side to that, in that it keeps me striving forward, aiming higher and holding myself to a high standard.
The bad side is that it can be hard on your confidence when you forget to celebrate your accomplishments along the way.
So, yeah. I am my own worst enemy . . .and my own best friend. Does that make me my own frenemy?
___________________________________________________
If you're not already following #IWSG (Insecure Writer's Support Group), you should really check it out. The monthly blog hop is a panoply of insight into the writing life at all stages of hobby and career. Search the hashtag in your favorite social media venue and you'll find something interesting on the first Wednesday of every month.
This month the group asked: What is the weirdest/coolest thing you ever had to research for your story? I tend to fall down the research rabbit hole way too often. There's so much cool stuff out there! Some recent favorites: learning about fireproof materials so that my henchwoman Helen Braeburn could create some fireproof clothing for herself; learning about different methods of flight (birds, machines, balloons, etc.) so I could decide what the mechanics of flight are for my flying hero Jessica "Flygirl" Roark; and learning about discrimination and acts of violence against German-Americans during WWI to decide what might be realistic for my characters in a women's historical fiction trilogy I'm working on. Sometimes I think half the fun of writing is the reading you do to support it.
I think it's good to keep moving that target, even if we run the risk of feeling like we'll never get there. It's been so long since I've hit my target that I've forgotten what it's like. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I also agree that half the fun of writing is the research.
Interesting. I love research too. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnna from elements of emaginette
I've dealt with that feeling too. Every other writer seems to get a book released with ease and if I'm lucky I get a book out every other year. I try not to dwell on it and let it get me down, especially when it's because of things outside of my control.
ReplyDeleteI think it's good to change your goals but you definitely want to acknowledge the accomplishments you've already made!
ReplyDelete